How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

• None, that’s a hardware problem.

What did one computer virus say to the other?

• “I think we should see other operating systems.”

Why do Java developers wear glasses?

• Because they don’t C#.

How do you comfort a JavaScript bug?

• You console it.

Why did the programmer quit their job?

• They didn’t get arrays.

How does a cybersecurity professional flirt?

• They say, “Are you a firewall? Because I can’t get through to your heart!”

Why did the cybersecurity expert break up with their computer?

• Because it had too many trust issues!

What’s a computer’s favorite snack?

• Microchips!

Why did the database administrator leave their job?

• They couldn’t find their tables.

What’s the object-oriented way to become wealthy?

• Inheritance.

Why did the web developer stay calm during the project disaster?

• Because they knew how to handle exceptions.

Why did the computer go to therapy?

• It had too many “attachment issues.”

What do you call a computer virus that plays the piano?

• A “keylogger.”

Why did the computer catch a virus at the bakery?

• It couldn’t resist the cookies.